Ndine_bali

Do I feel secure and validated in my own skin, or do I still crave a significant other’s approval?

Source: 50 Brutally Honest Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Before You Can Fully Feel Committed To Someone Else

something,

everything, came to be restored.

fissures healing.

broken pieces ill-fitting, no longer part

glints of something(s) becoming.

These things of happenstance, and those calculated but not taken into account

Things that no longer are, things that demand to be grasped.

something, everything, dancing in the dark to the soaking of the rain.

And Virgo simply clarifies, these are the details of our lives.

 

 

today,

i want to pick up my books and walk back home

crawl into bed and cradle in the arms of one waiting to say everything will be ok-

today,

i wish for a clear memory, of a rainy day like this one, my mother stroking my hair and telling me it is all ok-

but such are the whispers of fairies in the forgotten woods-

today,

I’ll go about my way,

it’s just another day, to someone, somewhere, close by-

cashmere sure does feel good

 

(image by Meg Allen Cole)

I look forward to meeting you.

You- who at first sight will inspire in me the curiosity to know you, and for whom I will inspire the same.

May we both be brave enough to pursue what will then grow into a desire to spend as much time together as we can possibly make, so we can figure out what our connection can become. We will use this time to understand one another, through a knowledge of our backgrounds, personalities, desires, longings, hurts, things we must leave behind, we imagine can be, intellectual thoughts, faiths. And should we both find that we want to continue engaging in living and grappling with the realities and mysteries of life together, and along that fulfill our desires for romantic love and all the intimacies that companionship allows, with each other, then may we yet be brave to openly acknowledge this to ourselves and declare it openly to one other, unashamed and gladly.

May we have faith and courage to share in life with a devotion given to the other, coupling.

Together may we unlearn what steals, quietly and violently, our peace and yielding to joy. May we grow to become all we can be together, and may we imagine and construct new ways of existing, with the intent and result of living life to our fullest. May we give. May we keep with vision and a readiness to create the future. May our path always be open beneath our feet, broad enough for us to continue in our journey certain of the strengths we offer to each other, and gracious. And may we be thankful, always, for the incredible possibilities that being together brings. The possibility to love the way love would be revealed through and to us, by us. The possibility to be meaningful to each other beyond that initial respect for human dignity. The possibility to become and produce all that this love of ours makes space for. Thankful that we would have met, and that no matter how long the experience takes us, we would always be happy to have taken each other up on the opportunity to share life together: loving, healing, learning, transcending.

I expect you.

 

 

 

bent through years of meticulous fashioning,

moral orders swallowed whole, in straight keeping with my genital’s role,

traditions are legacy, and my culture all i’m handed for identity

i strain against the fact of living

So tipsy Saturn let me stray,

denudes Cronus,

I’ll account for the crown.

even i have learnt to play.

 

 

 

 

you must, by all means, know the exact details of rules

recognize the grand narrative that is being systemically upheld

laugh at the irony, ‘what a myth’

that is the beginning of unlearning

now just be yourself because that is already the breaking of all that is rule

 

I,

who dreamt a thousand dreams believing all was done and nothing impossible, find myself deserted in the emptiness of no expectations. I am wanting to dream. I am wanting to construct, play make-belief, things can be, live in the already, now.

 

I have let so much go,
and all I am left with is exploding

we were all meant to be
but the Oedipal fate for which none but all is to blame
is running its course, and we’re torn asunder
what must come of this?

After a conversation about another myth that claims sex with a virgin can cure some new disease, I posed the following question to my beloved group of friends: “can we imagine a world where virginity is not even a thing? can we be honest about the problematic nature of the idea of purity?”

The responses:

1. “What are you wanting Mandy? For people to have sex before someone violates them?”

2. “Mandz, curious here… Are you trying to rationalize a decision that you’re thinking about or have made regarding your virginity?”

Exactly what I mean. I’m now being questioned and not the society I was inviting a discourse about.

I want to be the woman that I am, and my hymen has nothing to do with it, I’ve never even met the dear thing!